I tried not to think about my life. I did not have any good solid plans for it long-term – no bad plans either, no plans at all – and the lostness of that, compared with the clear ambitions of my friends (marriage, children, law school), sometimes shamed me. Other times in my mind I defended such a condition as morally and intellectually superior – my life was open and ready and free – but that did not make it less lonely.
