“Ladies and Gentlemen, we’re about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has been called.” … That’s what they say-but somehow, by the time it comes out of the speaker, it sounds like, “Everybody up and rush the door! Everybody up and try to squeeze your big fat butts in the small gate door area! Immediately! … Do whatever you have to do to get on board. This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam!”