True listening is never self-effacement. We bring the whole self to the process, rather than denying self. When we truly listen, we aren’t just waiting for someone else to decide something so we can get on with things, or so we don’t have to decide for ourselves. We aren’t giving away our own powers to be seen and heard. When we listen, first we listen to the parts of ourselves that are curious, in avoidance, afraid, angry, or proud. Then we can take a breath and sink, allowing those parts some space alongside the spaciousness of not knowing.
