And when you rub the ball on rump or belly, remember what it looks like on the telly. — Alan Patrick Herbert
An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected. — Alan Patrick Herbert
People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any act of parliament. — Alan Patrick Herbert
Nothing is wasted, nothing is in vain; the seas roll over but the rocks remain. — Alan Patrick Herbert
The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute — Alan Patrick Herbert
Well, fancy giving money to the government! might as well have put it down the drain. — Alan Patrick Herbert
I am sure that the party system is right and necessary. There must be some scum. — Alan Patrick Herbert
This high official, all allow, is grossly overpaid; there wasn’t any board, and now there isn’t any trade. — Alan Patrick Herbert
Not huffy or stuffy, nor tiny or tall, but fluffy, just fluffy, with no brains at all. — Alan Patrick Herbert
Other people’s babies – / that’s my life! / mother to dozens, / and nobody’s wife. — Alan Patrick Herbert