Andy Borowitz Quotes

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney,

— Andy Borowitz

Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400

— Andy Borowitz

It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and

— Andy Borowitz

The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage!

— Andy Borowitz

We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan,

— Andy Borowitz

Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed

— Andy Borowitz

A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather

— Andy Borowitz

Next time someone says, ‘Where has big government ever gotten us?’ Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Next time someone says, ‘Where has big government ever gotten us?’

— Andy Borowitz

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one

— Andy Borowitz

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate

— Andy Borowitz

Let’s withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America – that’s Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Let’s withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America – that’s

— Andy Borowitz

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life

— Andy Borowitz

Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let’s take Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let’s take

— Andy Borowitz

US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash

— Andy Borowitz

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you

— Andy Borowitz

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but

— Andy Borowitz

Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would

— Andy Borowitz

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a

— Andy Borowitz

Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part. Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.

— Andy Borowitz

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

— Andy Borowitz

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel. Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

— Andy Borowitz

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that

— Andy Borowitz

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which

— Andy Borowitz

To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated

— Andy Borowitz

Let’s not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Let’s not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private

— Andy Borowitz

I’ve invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

I’ve invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire

— Andy Borowitz

As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires. Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.

— Andy Borowitz

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions. Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

— Andy Borowitz

John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for

— Andy Borowitz

NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person

— Andy Borowitz

White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak’s sources Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak’s sources

— Andy Borowitz

Ann Romney: ‘The hardest part of being a stay at home mom Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Ann Romney: ‘The hardest part of being a stay at home mom

— Andy Borowitz

Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don’t really know. Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don’t really know.

— Andy Borowitz

It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that. Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.

— Andy Borowitz

Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that

— Andy Borowitz

A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you’re poor, sick, gay, female, Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you’re poor, sick, gay, female,

— Andy Borowitz

On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and

— Andy Borowitz

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at

— Andy Borowitz

Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three

— Andy Borowitz

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women Andy Borowitz Picture Quote

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women

— Andy Borowitz

More to Explore.

Greatest Tragedy Quotes

Greatest Tragedy Quotes

Equality Quotes

Equality Quotes

Mother's Day Quotes

Mother's Day Quotes

Apology Quotes

Apology Quotes

Good Night Quotes for Her

Good Night Quotes for Her

Selfish Quotes

Selfish Quotes

Journey Quotes

Journey Quotes

Art Quotes

Art Quotes