When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don’t stop, I’m going to die. — Craig Ferguson
I would prefer as a viewer to watch the mistakes. I am my own blooper reel, as it happens. — Craig Ferguson
I became a terrible drunk or alcoholic – or a good one depending on your point of view. — Craig Ferguson
The rain is giving much needed relief to California’s crops. By that I mean ‘marijuana.’ — Craig Ferguson
Bush’s memoir is 512 pages. To be fair, 200 of those pages are just games and puzzles. — Craig Ferguson
