I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me. — David Sedaris
I haven’t got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates — David Sedaris
I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with ‘the new yorker,’ and then I was like — David Sedaris
I just think that the people who say: ‘that’s not true’ when someone tells a story at dinner — David Sedaris
After a few months in my parents’ basement, I took an apartment near the state university — David Sedaris
I love ‘glee.’ I cry all the time when I watch ‘glee’ because I don’t know if it’s satire or melodrama and — David Sedaris
I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. — David Sedaris
I love things made out of animals. It’s just so funny to think of someone saying, ‘i need a letter opener. I guess I’ll have to kill a deer. — David Sedaris
I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting. — David Sedaris
I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later. — David Sedaris
I’ve been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it’s just whining — David Sedaris
I’ve never gone on facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for twitter. — David Sedaris
My family isn’t really all that different from anyone else’s. Well, maybe they’re a bit more entertaining. — David Sedaris
It’s odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. — David Sedaris
People ask if I miss it, but they don’t understand that american culture is so ubiquitous that there’s nothing to miss. — David Sedaris
People ask me, ‘have you ever considered doing stand-up?’ to me it would be less offensive if someone asked me — David Sedaris
My sister tiffany told me years ago, ‘you can never write about me.’ then she called six months ago and said she wanted to be in a story. — David Sedaris
Sometimes I say to myself, ‘oh, I wish I could win a tony award’, although I’m not that bothered. — David Sedaris
They were nothing like the french people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and — David Sedaris
The humor section is the last place an wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of cathy cartoons. — David Sedaris