Doug Benson Quotes

If someone wants to make a joke about me smoking too much Doug Benson Picture Quote

If someone wants to make a joke about me smoking too much

— Doug Benson

Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? Doug Benson Picture Quote

Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas?

— Doug Benson

Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I’ve been using money. Doug Benson Picture Quote

Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I’ve been using money.

— Doug Benson

I made some jokes about weed, got some laughs, made some more Doug Benson Picture Quote

I made some jokes about weed, got some laughs, made some more

— Doug Benson

I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed that audiences invariably love Doug Benson Picture Quote

I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed that audiences invariably love

— Doug Benson

I have been in kind of a sexual dry spell lately. In Doug Benson Picture Quote

I have been in kind of a sexual dry spell lately. In

— Doug Benson

Even if you are 18, my advice to you is: plan for your future. Doug Benson Picture Quote

Even if you are 18, my advice to you is: plan for your future.

— Doug Benson

A talking dog is not the answer. That’s not a way to Doug Benson Picture Quote

A talking dog is not the answer. That’s not a way to

— Doug Benson

I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man. Doug Benson Picture Quote

I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.

— Doug Benson

Tom Cruise shouldn’t try to win Oscars. He should just smile and Doug Benson Picture Quote

Tom Cruise shouldn’t try to win Oscars. He should just smile and

— Doug Benson

If you ever go to Las Vegas, and you will, just go Doug Benson Picture Quote

If you ever go to Las Vegas, and you will, just go

— Doug Benson

No one really needs to defend drinking. That’s something that frustrates me Doug Benson Picture Quote

No one really needs to defend drinking. That’s something that frustrates me

— Doug Benson

You know you drank too much the night before when you wake Doug Benson Picture Quote

You know you drank too much the night before when you wake

— Doug Benson

In Seattle, they have a saying: ‘If you don’t like the weather, Doug Benson Picture Quote

In Seattle, they have a saying: ‘If you don’t like the weather,

— Doug Benson

I’m not trying to recruit anyone. I think minds can be changed, Doug Benson Picture Quote

I’m not trying to recruit anyone. I think minds can be changed,

— Doug Benson

The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing. Doug Benson Picture Quote

The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing.

— Doug Benson

The whole pot-to-alcohol thing is a huge issue with me, because I’ve Doug Benson Picture Quote

The whole pot-to-alcohol thing is a huge issue with me, because I’ve

— Doug Benson

J-Lo finally married into her own music genre. Crappy music. Doug Benson Picture Quote

J-Lo finally married into her own music genre. Crappy music.

— Doug Benson

Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to Doug Benson Picture Quote

Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to

— Doug Benson

Any comedic entertainment is better when you get high. Doug Benson Picture Quote

Any comedic entertainment is better when you get high.

— Doug Benson

Fortunately, most of my friends in comedy that smoke pot are almost Doug Benson Picture Quote

Fortunately, most of my friends in comedy that smoke pot are almost

— Doug Benson

It’s easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell Doug Benson Picture Quote

It’s easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell

— Doug Benson

The thing is girls will always say you’re lying when you say Doug Benson Picture Quote

The thing is girls will always say you’re lying when you say

— Doug Benson

Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a Doug Benson Picture Quote

Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a

— Doug Benson

LL Cool J should be the spokesman for a line of pajamas called Ladies Love Cool Jammies. Doug Benson Picture Quote

LL Cool J should be the spokesman for a line of pajamas called Ladies Love Cool Jammies.

— Doug Benson

Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, Doug Benson Picture Quote

Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance,

— Doug Benson

I like Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory because some children deserve Doug Benson Picture Quote

I like Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory because some children deserve

— Doug Benson

I used to make love to Green Day’s music. But 9 minutes? I’m not Superman. Doug Benson Picture Quote

I used to make love to Green Day’s music. But 9 minutes? I’m not Superman.

— Doug Benson

In terms of my lungs, pot smoking is not like cigarette smoking. Doug Benson Picture Quote

In terms of my lungs, pot smoking is not like cigarette smoking.

— Doug Benson

A message to parents who think legalizing weed will make their kids Doug Benson Picture Quote

A message to parents who think legalizing weed will make their kids

— Doug Benson

Marijuana: why forget something tomorrow when you can forget it today? Doug Benson Picture Quote

Marijuana: why forget something tomorrow when you can forget it today?

— Doug Benson

A friend is someone I complain to about my other friends. Doug Benson Picture Quote

A friend is someone I complain to about my other friends.

— Doug Benson

I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis Doug Benson Picture Quote

I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis

— Doug Benson

Willem Dafoe is a shithead. Doug Benson Picture Quote

Willem Dafoe is a shithead.

— Doug Benson

You can’t always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so Doug Benson Picture Quote

You can’t always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so

— Doug Benson

I like to go see a ball game. I’ll have seven, eight, Doug Benson Picture Quote

I like to go see a ball game. I’ll have seven, eight,

— Doug Benson

Big deal… the only cats that don’t have three legs are the Doug Benson Picture Quote

Big deal… the only cats that don’t have three legs are the

— Doug Benson

We don’t want any pot-smoking vaginas because that’s disgusting. And I saw Doug Benson Picture Quote

We don’t want any pot-smoking vaginas because that’s disgusting. And I saw

— Doug Benson

People say pot-smokers are lazy. I disagree; I’m a multitasking pot-smoker: just Doug Benson Picture Quote

People say pot-smokers are lazy. I disagree; I’m a multitasking pot-smoker: just

— Doug Benson

Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes. Doug Benson Picture Quote

Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.

— Doug Benson

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