A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself. — Fred Allen
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. — Fred Allen
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary. — Fred Allen
A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. — Fred Allen
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better. — Fred Allen