George Carlin Quotes

When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M. George Carlin Picture Quote

When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.

— George Carlin

Everybody in America is a part of this big herd of cattle George Carlin Picture Quote

Everybody in America is a part of this big herd of cattle

— George Carlin

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body. George Carlin Picture Quote

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.

— George Carlin

Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass. George Carlin Picture Quote

Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.

— George Carlin

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be George Carlin Picture Quote

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be

— George Carlin

We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion George Carlin Picture Quote

We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion

— George Carlin

I don’t have to tell you it goes without saying there are George Carlin Picture Quote

I don’t have to tell you it goes without saying there are

— George Carlin

I don’t think we really gave barbarism a fair try. George Carlin Picture Quote

I don’t think we really gave barbarism a fair try.

— George Carlin

Christians worship a dead Jew on a stick George Carlin Picture Quote

Christians worship a dead Jew on a stick

— George Carlin

And, of course, the funniest food: “kumquats”. I don’t even bring them George Carlin Picture Quote

And, of course, the funniest food: “kumquats”. I don’t even bring them

— George Carlin

No one who has had “Taps” played for them has ever been able to hear it. George Carlin Picture Quote

No one who has had “Taps” played for them has ever been able to hear it.

— George Carlin

Like on the airlines, they say they want to ‘pre-board’. Well, what George Carlin Picture Quote

Like on the airlines, they say they want to ‘pre-board’. Well, what

— George Carlin

O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest George Carlin Picture Quote

O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest

— George Carlin

Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints? George Carlin Picture Quote

Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?

— George Carlin

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My George Carlin Picture Quote

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My

— George Carlin

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a George Carlin Picture Quote

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a

— George Carlin

You never see a smiling runner. George Carlin Picture Quote

You never see a smiling runner.

— George Carlin

When you’re born in this world you’re given a ticket to the George Carlin Picture Quote

When you’re born in this world you’re given a ticket to the

— George Carlin

If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive George Carlin Picture Quote

If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive

— George Carlin

When people asked me, “Do you get high to go onstage?” I George Carlin Picture Quote

When people asked me, “Do you get high to go onstage?” I

— George Carlin

A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for George Carlin Picture Quote

A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for

— George Carlin

Spirituality: the last refuge of a failed human. Just another way of George Carlin Picture Quote

Spirituality: the last refuge of a failed human. Just another way of

— George Carlin

I was a class clown, of the classic term for it. I George Carlin Picture Quote

I was a class clown, of the classic term for it. I

— George Carlin

People have material needs, but you don’t need a deodorant for every George Carlin Picture Quote

People have material needs, but you don’t need a deodorant for every

— George Carlin

Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away… and you don’t know what time it is? George Carlin Picture Quote

Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away… and you don’t know what time it is?

— George Carlin

Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin Picture Quote

Everyone smiles in the same language.

— George Carlin

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin Picture Quote

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

— George Carlin

An art thief is a man who takes pictures. George Carlin Picture Quote

An art thief is a man who takes pictures.

— George Carlin

I don’t care much about the outcome. I’d like for people to George Carlin Picture Quote

I don’t care much about the outcome. I’d like for people to

— George Carlin

I think religion is very anti-man. I think it’s a terrible distortion George Carlin Picture Quote

I think religion is very anti-man. I think it’s a terrible distortion

— George Carlin

Israeli murderers are called “commandos,” Arab commandos are called “terrorists.” George Carlin Picture Quote

Israeli murderers are called “commandos,” Arab commandos are called “terrorists.”

— George Carlin

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything. George Carlin Picture Quote

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.

— George Carlin

If a piece requires some specific inflection, I’ll record it. I take George Carlin Picture Quote

If a piece requires some specific inflection, I’ll record it. I take

— George Carlin

You wouldn’t know it, from some of the things I’ve said over George Carlin Picture Quote

You wouldn’t know it, from some of the things I’ve said over

— George Carlin

I was kind of sweet kid, according my mother, and my recollections. George Carlin Picture Quote

I was kind of sweet kid, according my mother, and my recollections.

— George Carlin

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home George Carlin Picture Quote

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home

— George Carlin

I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes. George Carlin Picture Quote

I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.

— George Carlin

Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat George Carlin Picture Quote

Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat

— George Carlin

When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When George Carlin Picture Quote

When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When

— George Carlin

And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little George Carlin Picture Quote

And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little

— George Carlin

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