Ahh, earth day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid. — Jon Stewart
Here’s the point – you’re looking at affirmative action, and you’re looking at marijuana. — Jon Stewart
I celebrated thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house — Jon Stewart
I heard dennis kucinich say in a debate, ‘when I’m president… and I just wanted to stop him and say, ‘dude.’ — Jon Stewart
I’m too short to host a late-night talk show. It’s like the bar at an amusement-park ride. — Jon Stewart
I’ve always liked atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food. — Jon Stewart
I’ve been to canada, and I’ve always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. — Jon Stewart
If the events of september 11, 2001, have proven anything, it’s that the terrorists can attack us — Jon Stewart
If you watch the news and don’t like it, then this is your counter program to the news. — Jon Stewart
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. — Jon Stewart
We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have — Jon Stewart
More than 150 heads of state attended the un summit, giving new yorkers a chance to get — Jon Stewart
The supreme court ruled that disabled golfer casey martin has a legal right to ride in a golf — Jon Stewart
The seven marvels that best represent man’s achievements over the last 2,000 years will.. — Jon Stewart