Red Skelton Quotes

I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it. Red Skelton Picture Quote

I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.

— Red Skelton

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. Red Skelton Picture Quote

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.

— Red Skelton

Today’s comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They’re shooting Red Skelton Picture Quote

Today’s comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They’re shooting

— Red Skelton

Wouldn’t it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer Red Skelton Picture Quote

Wouldn’t it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer

— Red Skelton

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory … I forget the other two. Red Skelton Picture Quote

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory … I forget the other two.

— Red Skelton

I’ve put on a lot of weight… I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born. Red Skelton Picture Quote

I’ve put on a lot of weight… I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

— Red Skelton

If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God. Red Skelton Picture Quote

If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

— Red Skelton

Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Red Skelton Picture Quote

Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

— Red Skelton

God’s children and their happiness are my reasons for being. Red Skelton Picture Quote

God’s children and their happiness are my reasons for being.

— Red Skelton

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would Red Skelton Picture Quote

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would

— Red Skelton

I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I Red Skelton Picture Quote

I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I

— Red Skelton

Mom used to say I didn’t run away from home my destiny Red Skelton Picture Quote

Mom used to say I didn’t run away from home my destiny

— Red Skelton

You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and Red Skelton Picture Quote

You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and

— Red Skelton

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce Red Skelton Picture Quote

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce

— Red Skelton

I won’t mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn’t heard. Red Skelton Picture Quote

I won’t mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn’t heard.

— Red Skelton

I only come to life when there are people watching. Red Skelton Picture Quote

I only come to life when there are people watching.

— Red Skelton

You know how to tell when you’re getting old? When your broad Red Skelton Picture Quote

You know how to tell when you’re getting old? When your broad

— Red Skelton

Imitation isn’t the sincerest form of flattery – it’s plagiarism. Red Skelton Picture Quote

Imitation isn’t the sincerest form of flattery – it’s plagiarism.

— Red Skelton

When anyone hurts us, my wife and I sit in our Japanese Red Skelton Picture Quote

When anyone hurts us, my wife and I sit in our Japanese

— Red Skelton

I don’t pick on politicians. They ain’t done nothin’. Red Skelton Picture Quote

I don’t pick on politicians. They ain’t done nothin’.

— Red Skelton

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the Red Skelton Picture Quote

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the

— Red Skelton

Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. Red Skelton Picture Quote

Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

— Red Skelton

I don’t hate my enemies. After all, I made ’em. Red Skelton Picture Quote

I don’t hate my enemies. After all, I made ’em.

— Red Skelton

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, Red Skelton Picture Quote

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said,

— Red Skelton

I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise. Red Skelton Picture Quote

I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.

— Red Skelton

My doctor said I look like a million dollars – green and wrinkled. Red Skelton Picture Quote

My doctor said I look like a million dollars – green and wrinkled.

— Red Skelton

People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around Red Skelton Picture Quote

People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around

— Red Skelton

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a Red Skelton Picture Quote

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a

— Red Skelton

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. Red Skelton Picture Quote

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

— Red Skelton

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She Red Skelton Picture Quote

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She

— Red Skelton

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always Red Skelton Picture Quote

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always

— Red Skelton

I just want to be known as a clown, because to me Red Skelton Picture Quote

I just want to be known as a clown, because to me

— Red Skelton

I’d have avoided some of the pain if I could. Anyone would. Red Skelton Picture Quote

I’d have avoided some of the pain if I could. Anyone would.

— Red Skelton

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off Red Skelton Picture Quote

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off

— Red Skelton

I don’t need glasses, but I’ve just reached the age where curiosity Red Skelton Picture Quote

I don’t need glasses, but I’ve just reached the age where curiosity

— Red Skelton

If by chance some day you’re not feeling well and you should Red Skelton Picture Quote

If by chance some day you’re not feeling well and you should

— Red Skelton

I’m nuts and I know it. But so long as I make ’em laugh, they ain’t going to lock me up. Red Skelton Picture Quote

I’m nuts and I know it. But so long as I make ’em laugh, they ain’t going to lock me up.

— Red Skelton

It proves what they say, give the public what they want to Red Skelton Picture Quote

It proves what they say, give the public what they want to

— Red Skelton

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he Red Skelton Picture Quote

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he

— Red Skelton

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas Red Skelton Picture Quote

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas

— Red Skelton

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