As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I’ve done my job. — Roseanne Barr
Birth control that really works – every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids. — Roseanne Barr
Xperts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? when you’re feeling festive? — Roseanne Barr
I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people… that’s why I don’t like any of them. — Roseanne Barr
My husband and I didn’t sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. — Roseanne Barr
Qwomen complain about pms, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself. — Roseanne Barr