A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging — Tommy Cooper
So he said ‘i’m going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.’ — Tommy Cooper
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. — Tommy Cooper
Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone. — Tommy Cooper