Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, ‘be fruitful and multiply,’ but not in those words. — Woody Allen
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have. — Woody Allen
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? — Woody Allen
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? in that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. — Woody Allen
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. — Woody Allen
If you’re not failing every how and again it’s a sigh you’re not doing anything very innovative. — Woody Allen
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. — Woody Allen
