Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion. — Ambrose Bierce
EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends. — Ambrose Bierce
Here’s to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands. — Ambrose Bierce
Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps. — Ambrose Bierce
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the Gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility. — Ambrose Bierce