Dave Barry Quotes

Enjoy the best inspirational, motivational, positive, funny and famous quotes by Dave Barry. Use words and picture quotations to push forward and inspire you keep going in life!

Image, To defend Western Europe we have to let the Pentagon buy all

Picture Quotes

To defend Western Europe we have to let the Pentagon buy all these tanks and guns and things, and the Pentagon is unable to buy any object that that costs less than a condominium in Vail. If the Pentagon needs, say, fruit, it will argue that it must have fruit that can withstand the rigors of combat conditions, and it will wind up purchasing the FX-700 Seedless Tactical Grape, which will cost $160,000 per bunch, and will have an 83 percent failure rate.

Dave Barry

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Image, The weightlifting competition I saw was the women’s 63 kg class. I’m not

Picture Quotes

The weightlifting competition I saw was the women's 63 kg class. I'm not sure whether this means the actual women weighed 63 kg or the weights they lifted weighed 63 kg. Or possibly the temperature in the weightlifting hall was 63 kg. There's no way to know for sure without finding out what a "kg" is, and my belief, as an American, is that if I have to start understanding the metric system, then the terrorists have won.

Dave Barry

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