America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks. — John Barrymore
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him. — John Barrymore
I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom. — John Barrymore
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning. — John Barrymore
If it isn’t the sheriff, it’s the finance company; I’ve got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner. — John Barrymore
In genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief. — John Barrymore
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. — John Barrymore
My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere. — John Barrymore
S*x: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. — John Barrymore
When archaeologists discover the missing arms of venus de milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves. — John Barrymore