Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life . . . and you messed it up again. — Patrick Murray
The trouble with the Internet is that it’s replacing masturbation as a leisure activity. — Patrick Murray
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. — Patrick Murray
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. — Patrick Murray