Picture Quotes I wrote a one-act play - I can't remember the name of it, but it was really about the way women are perceived as leaders. In the play, Catherine the Great would say things like, "You know, John F. Kennedy had extramarital affairs and no one says anything. But I bang one horse and now I'm a horse banger for all eternity? That's it? That's what I am?" —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes It doesn't matter if it's a school play or a dumb TV show. It's your work. You should care about it so much that people get annoyed with you. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Sometimes, you can feel or see how a movie can... how you can do it. Sometimes it's just like seeing, "Can that work? Will people buy that? Can we do that?" And all those checkmarks. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I grew up in a family of Republicans. And when I was 18 and registering to vote, my mom's only instruction was 'You just go in and pull the big Republican lever.' That's my welcome to adulthood. She's like, 'No, don't even read it. Just pull the Republican lever. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes For my first show at 'SNL', I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn't getting any laughs. This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, 'Okay, that happened, and I did not die.' You've got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I learned quickly that trying to force Country Folk to love the Big City is like telling your gay cousin, "You just haven't met the right girl yet. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes It was scary to be in that world of politics. I felt uncomfortable to be in that discussion. The weird thing is, when Darrell Hammond or Will Ferrell or Dana Carvey did an impersonation of a president, no one assumed it was personal, but because Sarah Palin and I are both women and people think women are meaner to each other, everyone assumed it was personal. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes The topic of working moms is a tap-dance recital in a minefield. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes If you are capable people are happy to play with you. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea." —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I went to the University of Virginia and I came from, I grew up in suburban Philadelphia. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I keep my eyes on the sea, waiting to be rocketed into it on a wave of fire. I'll be ready for it to happen and that way it won't happen. It's a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper-vigilance, but its my lot in life. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I think my level of fame will drop back down. I think it'll recede. In fact, I know it will. That's life on Planet Earth. And I'm okay with that. Besides getting tables at restaurants and special treatment at the airport, what else is there? —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes When I started on 'Saturday Night Live,' I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I don't like my feet. I'm not crazy about anybody's feet. But I have flat feet. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes It's a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go. You can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it...You have to let people see what you wrote. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I don't like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don't think that fighting and passion are the same thing. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes When hiring, mix Harvard Nerds with Chicago Improvisers and stir. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Sometimes I'll be telling my husband, 'I think I'm cracking up'. Sometimes you just need a minute to say, 'I think I'm cracking' and just acknowledge it. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes You know who DOES have a funny bone in her body? Your Mom every night for a dollar! —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes One of the great things about doing animated movies is that you don't have to dress up or put on make-up. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn't want a wide-hipped, sarcastic Greek girl with short hair that's permed on top? What's that you say? None of them want that? You are correct. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes You mostly know that you want to be funny, know that you have the desire. It's not like people who grow up beautiful and can look in the mirror and be like, I'm beautiful! Funny is more of a journey. And a desperate attempt. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes In my limited experience, shows are like children. You can teach them manners and dress them in little sailor suits, but in the end, they're going to be who they're going to be. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes (My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.) —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Start with a 'Yes', and see where that takes you. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I was taken to an examining room where a big butch nurse practitioner came in and asked me if I was pregnant. “No way!” Was I sexually active? “Nope!” Had I ever been molested? “Well,” I said, trying to make a joke, “Oprah says the only answers to that question are ‘Yes’ and ‘I don’t remember.’ ” I laughed. We were having fun. The nurse looked at me, concerned/annoyed. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes In Afghanistan this week, outnumbered Northern Alliance rebels on horseback defeated Taliban forces armed with tanks. Experts say the victory is just like the story of David and Goliath and David's friend, the Stealth Bomber. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes If you care about [the characters] as if they were real, that always helps. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Now let me be clear; millions of women around the world nurse their children beautifully for years without giving anybody else a hard time about it. Teat Nazis are a solely western upper-middle-class phenomenon occurring when highly ambitious women experience deprivation from outside modes of achievement. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes "30 Rock" is over, so I definitely aspire to write another movie again; eventually, will try to pitch something for television again. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children's medications are selling on Home Shopping Network. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes We writers dream of a future where actors are mostly computer generated and their performances can be adjusted, by us, on a laptop, alone. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I think the philosophy will continue to be what it always was; which was, let's keep throwing a bunch of things at the wall, and see what sticks. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two year suspension for a lawyer caught having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. Haha! Jokes on you, dummies... I'm not really a lawyer. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Twitter seems like a busman's holiday: just more writing. I have no plans to do it. I'll just stick with my 24/7 webcam. I'm old-fashioned that way. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Pissing in jars, they had never been handed a fifteen-year-old Kotex product by the school nurse. But they trusted me and Paula, so I'm proud to say we made —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Let's review the cost-free techniques that we've learned so far for raising an achievement-oriented, obedient, drug-free, virgin adult: Calamity, Praise, Local Theater, and flat feet. Another key element is "Strong Father Figure / Fear Thereof." —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes You've got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I'm a big fan of 'The Office', both the British and the American versions. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes I don't weigh myself. I just go by if my clothes fit. I try not to participate too much in the incredible amount of wasted energy that women have around dealing with food. I just feel like being healthy is sort of a job requirement to be on TV, and being a writer is so much coping with fatigue and stress, and you just eat. You eat to stay awake. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes Will Ferrell is a dangerous man. If he thinks you're in his way in show business, he will crack your head open. He's the Jeff Gillooly of comedy. —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this
Picture Quotes If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares? —Tina FeyWhatsappFacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedInBufferEmail this