I wouldn’t kidnap a man for sex – I’m not saying I couldn’t use someone to oil the mower. — Victoria Wood
I sometimes think that being widowed is God’s way of telling you to come off the Pill. — Victoria Wood
If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder. — Victoria Wood
All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn’t want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro. — Victoria Wood
I haven’t got a waist. I’ve just got a sort of place, a bit like an unmarked level crossing. — Victoria Wood
I have stayed true to that first idea that people can have a day in their lives that is very — Victoria Wood
A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other — Victoria Wood
Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child’s life via the education system. — Victoria Wood
Life’s not fair, is it? some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat — Victoria Wood
In london it’s easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when sting lives in the house just behind you. — Victoria Wood
It’s only when you act as if you’re someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony. — Victoria Wood
I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle — Victoria Wood
I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I’ve got used to — Victoria Wood
I know I’ve got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? — Victoria Wood
Radio killed variety and tv killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on. — Victoria Wood
