Zach Galifianakis Quotes

I was just thinking how unfortunate it’d be to be a fat girl named Candy. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I was just thinking how unfortunate it’d be to be a fat girl named Candy.

— Zach Galifianakis

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in

— Zach Galifianakis

My forte is awkwardness. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

My forte is awkwardness.

— Zach Galifianakis

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, “What the Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, “What the

— Zach Galifianakis

You write things that are of interest to you. There’s no focus group. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

You write things that are of interest to you. There’s no focus group.

— Zach Galifianakis

I kind of put myself out there as is. I’m a quiet Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I kind of put myself out there as is. I’m a quiet

— Zach Galifianakis

I’ve been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I’ve been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of

— Zach Galifianakis

The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.

— Zach Galifianakis

My New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘You go, girl’ to myself. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

My New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘You go, girl’ to myself.

— Zach Galifianakis

My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron…and a lot like Patrick Ewing. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron…and a lot like Patrick Ewing.

— Zach Galifianakis

I don’t want to do an edgy show, I didn’t want bad Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I don’t want to do an edgy show, I didn’t want bad

— Zach Galifianakis

I like to read the bible in public places where people are Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I like to read the bible in public places where people are

— Zach Galifianakis

I don’t know what my assistant would do besides get me pot. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I don’t know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.

— Zach Galifianakis

There was a long time where I was an ‘artist’ in quotes, Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

There was a long time where I was an ‘artist’ in quotes,

— Zach Galifianakis

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I

— Zach Galifianakis

The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says “Forever.” Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says “Forever.”

— Zach Galifianakis

I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy.

— Zach Galifianakis

People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother’s basement. It Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother’s basement. It

— Zach Galifianakis

Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my

— Zach Galifianakis

My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I’m pronouncing that right. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I’m pronouncing that right.

— Zach Galifianakis

I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a

— Zach Galifianakis

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

— Zach Galifianakis

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree

— Zach Galifianakis

I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn’t seem too Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn’t seem too

— Zach Galifianakis

I try to write three jokes every day. I don’t sit down Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I try to write three jokes every day. I don’t sit down

— Zach Galifianakis

I don’t really have a pattern yet. I don’t know if I’ll Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I don’t really have a pattern yet. I don’t know if I’ll

— Zach Galifianakis

I think those neighborhood signs that say ‘slow children playing’ are mean. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I think those neighborhood signs that say ‘slow children playing’ are mean.

— Zach Galifianakis

I once walked in on my grandparents making love…And that’s why I don’t eat raisins. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I once walked in on my grandparents making love…And that’s why I don’t eat raisins.

— Zach Galifianakis

I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me.

— Zach Galifianakis

I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, ‘Dude, Where’s My Spaceship’ Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, ‘Dude, Where’s My Spaceship’

— Zach Galifianakis

My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I

— Zach Galifianakis

When you’re doing standup you’re kind of doing, ‘Hey. I thought of Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

When you’re doing standup you’re kind of doing, ‘Hey. I thought of

— Zach Galifianakis

My father used to beat me with his belt…while it was still on him. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

My father used to beat me with his belt…while it was still on him.

— Zach Galifianakis

I’d like to do a reality show with four white people…who Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I’d like to do a reality show with four white people…who

— Zach Galifianakis

I want to do another reality show. It’s based on The Mole. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I want to do another reality show. It’s based on The Mole.

— Zach Galifianakis

When a role seems fun it’s easy to play. It kind of comes organically. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

When a role seems fun it’s easy to play. It kind of comes organically.

— Zach Galifianakis

There’s more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

There’s more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie.

— Zach Galifianakis

I call my balls the bush twins. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I call my balls the bush twins.

— Zach Galifianakis

I’m Greek. My body produces feta cheese. Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I’m Greek. My body produces feta cheese.

— Zach Galifianakis

I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an Zach Galifianakis Picture Quote

I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an

— Zach Galifianakis

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