Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two german missionaries and a dutch urologist. — Emo Philips
I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there’s never any gum under any of them. — Emo Philips
He said, “oh, yeah? why?” I said, “well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.” — Emo Philips
I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don’t know I’m firing blanks. — Emo Philips