My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants — Fran Lebowitz
In the soviet union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy. — Fran Lebowitz
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to — Fran Lebowitz
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of — Fran Lebowitz
I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. — Fran Lebowitz
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the bloomsbury set. — Fran Lebowitz
Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality — Fran Lebowitz
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast — Fran Lebowitz
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that — Fran Lebowitz
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you — Fran Lebowitz
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued — Fran Lebowitz
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back. — Fran Lebowitz
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. — Fran Lebowitz
I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child,’ for it has been my invariable experience — Fran Lebowitz
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate — Fran Lebowitz