[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don’t see them at parties. — Fran Lebowitz
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail. — Fran Lebowitz
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat. — Fran Lebowitz
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot — Fran Lebowitz
All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable. — Fran Lebowitz
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that — Fran Lebowitz
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully. — Fran Lebowitz
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure. — Fran Lebowitz
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. — Fran Lebowitz
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants — Fran Lebowitz