I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere. — George Burns
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked. — George Burns
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it. — George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. — George Burns
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. — George Burns
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. — George Burns
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. — George Burns
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there. — George Burns
I was always taught to respect my elders and I’ve now reached the age when I don’t have anybody to respect. — George Burns
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere. — George Burns