Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top. — Joan Rivers
She doesn’t understand the concept of roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven. — Joan Rivers
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God’s gift, that’s why we call it the present. — Joan Rivers
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. — Joan Rivers