I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. — Rita Rudner
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by picasso. — Rita Rudner
It wasn’t that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was. — Rita Rudner
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. — Rita Rudner