Spring beckons! all things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond. — Ambrose Bierce
Religion. A daughter of hope and fear, explaining to ignorance the nature of the unknowable. — Ambrose Bierce
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope. — Ambrose Bierce
Pray: to ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. — Ambrose Bierce
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge. — Ambrose Bierce
There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. — Ambrose Bierce
Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is – it is her shadow. — Ambrose Bierce
We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. — Ambrose Bierce
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. — Ambrose Bierce
Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking. — Ambrose Bierce
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. — Ambrose Bierce
Absurdity, n.: a statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion. — Ambrose Bierce