Lewis Grizzard Quotes

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If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I’m Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I’m Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.

— Lewis Grizzard

“Have you done your homework?” my mother would ask. “I’ll do it Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

“Have you done your homework?” my mother would ask. “I’ll do it

— Lewis Grizzard

Let’s all start walking more and driving less. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Let’s all start walking more and driving less.

— Lewis Grizzard

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi

— Lewis Grizzard

I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find

— Lewis Grizzard

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

— Lewis Grizzard

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I

— Lewis Grizzard

When My Love Comes Back from the Ladies’ Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care? Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

When My Love Comes Back from the Ladies’ Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care?

— Lewis Grizzard

Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love

— Lewis Grizzard

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to

— Lewis Grizzard

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

— Lewis Grizzard

The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken,

— Lewis Grizzard

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

— Lewis Grizzard

I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

— Lewis Grizzard

Today’s sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Today’s sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about

— Lewis Grizzard

It’s better to have died a small child than to be a Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

It’s better to have died a small child than to be a

— Lewis Grizzard

Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did, someone else would own the orchard. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did, someone else would own the orchard.

— Lewis Grizzard

On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.

— Lewis Grizzard

In the south there’s a difference between ‘Naked’ and ‘Nekkid.’ ‘Naked’ Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

In the south there’s a difference between ‘Naked’ and ‘Nekkid.’ ‘Naked’

— Lewis Grizzard

Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language

— Lewis Grizzard

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck

— Lewis Grizzard

Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.

— Lewis Grizzard

It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

— Lewis Grizzard

Elvis is dead and I don’t feel good for myself. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Elvis is dead and I don’t feel good for myself.

— Lewis Grizzard

Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them

— Lewis Grizzard

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I

— Lewis Grizzard

There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard

— Lewis Grizzard

If Love Were Oil, / I’d Be About a Quart Low. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

If Love Were Oil, / I’d Be About a Quart Low.

— Lewis Grizzard

God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

— Lewis Grizzard

Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.

— Lewis Grizzard

I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against

— Lewis Grizzard

They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

— Lewis Grizzard

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to

— Lewis Grizzard

There’s no such thing as being too Southern. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

There’s no such thing as being too Southern.

— Lewis Grizzard

Spring time is the land awakening. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Spring time is the land awakening.

— Lewis Grizzard

If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.

— Lewis Grizzard

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola,

— Lewis Grizzard

The game of life is a lot like football. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

The game of life is a lot like football.

— Lewis Grizzard

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

— Lewis Grizzard

I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. Lewis Grizzard Picture Quote

I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

— Lewis Grizzard

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