Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. — Mark Twain
The christian’s bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. — Mark Twain
Only one thing is impossible for God: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. — Mark Twain
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. — Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about. — Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. — Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself. — Mark Twain
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (fortunately) everybody drinks water. — Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. — Mark Twain
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.” — Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all. — Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except congress. — Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. — Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: — Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. — Mark Twain
It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. — Mark Twain