Stephen Colbert Quotes

There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I don’t accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Pain is the body’s way of telling the brain it’s in trouble. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Pain Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

On this show, your voice will be heard – in the form of my voice. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

You seem cynical because you’re always talking about that selfish behavior that’s Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Behavior Quotes, Selfish Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I’m not going to name any names, but let’s just say, I Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman, whose experience as a Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Reality Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I teach Sunday school, motherf*****. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

School Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Hatemongers like Media Matters take innocent statements like mine, Rush Limbaugh’s, John Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Offensive Quotes, People Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Make no mistake – they’re coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

So if animals aren’t our friends, then what are they? The answer Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Some people perceive me as an assassin or at least someone who Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

People Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

If Jesus doesn’t have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I won’t be doing the new show in character, so we’ll all Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Determination Quotes, Heart Quotes, Humanity Quotes, Unstoppable Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

If you repeat it, it’s true. If you repeat it, it’s true. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

President Bush has embarked on an eight-day tour of the continent. He Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Approval Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

The cost of living keeps going up, although death is surprisingly affordable. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Death Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

No one has any idea what’s going to happen. Not even Elon Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Plan Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Isn’t an agnostic just an atheist without balls? Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

As Shakespeare said, there’s nothin’ cooler than droppin’ the ‘g’s off of gerunds! Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I used to play a narcissistic conservative pundit. Now I’m just a narcissist. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

You don’t look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Hurt Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Mentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Help Quotes, Pretend Quotes, Selfish Quotes, Serve Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

No Matter What Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

America cannot afford a rally to restore sanity in the middle of Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

This is a crucial time in the fight for corporate civil rights. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

People Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I have no interest in behaving or thinking cynically. But it’s an Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Politics Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Al Gore has a hit movie called ‘An Inconvenient Truth.’ I Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Love Is Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Don't Trust Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Throughout human history, countries rise and fall. But not America-we continue to Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

It’s much better to invite the audience to be part of your Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Bill Moyers is everything I never aspire to be: Calm, Thoughtful, and Informative. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

There’s nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

You should spend more time with your families; write that novel you’ve Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

It’s like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Serve Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I’m impervious to logic. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Logic Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn’t that Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Fear Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

What’s the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns? Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Any religion whose messiah’s name isn’t recognized by Microsoft Word Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a ‘ton’ of time with those acronyms. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I’m post-tweeting today. I’ll Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They – Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Criticize Quotes, Hate Quotes, People Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Obamacare takes effect in less than eight months. Do you realize what Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Realize Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

It’s a game. That’s why we call it ‘the news.’ It’s just a game. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

The only thing that keeps us going back to one another is Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Ability Quotes, Alone Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Oops! I always thought PETA stood for Please Eat This Animal. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Last night, we did the Threatdown — God, it’s hard to even Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Winter Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Reality Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

I scream, you scream, we all scream… for the truth. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

The entire future of marriage rests with Justice Anthony Kennedy, the man Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

People Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Thankfully, dreams can change. If we’d all stuck with our first dream, Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

Equations are the devil’s sentences. Stephen Colbert Picture Quote

Picture Quotes

— Stephen Colbert

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