Newt Gingrich is against same-sex marriage. Well, actually, he’s against same-marriage sex. — David Letterman
Once you’re president, you can’t go anywhere without causing trouble. President Obama — David Letterman
United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We’re not too fond of luggage either. — David Letterman
Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential candidate, is going to fight Evander Holyfield — David Letterman
I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. — David Letterman