Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. — Mark Twain
To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man’s character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours. — Mark Twain
Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom. — Mark Twain
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times. — Mark Twain
Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years — Mark Twain
In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand — Mark Twain
Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except. — Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. — Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. — Mark Twain
If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. — Mark Twain
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain’t so. — Mark Twain
The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions — Mark Twain