We can’t reach old age by another man’s road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. — Mark Twain
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. — Mark Twain
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born — Mark Twain
My advice to girls: first, don’t smoke to excess; second, don’t drink to excess; third, don’t marry to excess. — Mark Twain
Part of my plan has been to try to pleasantly remind adults of what they once were themselves — Mark Twain
The rain is famous for falling on the just and unjust alike, but if I had the management — Mark Twain
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with. — Mark Twain
The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will — Mark Twain
The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which. — Mark Twain
It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races. — Mark Twain
Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn’t. — Mark Twain
The government is merely a servant — merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative — Mark Twain
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. — Mark Twain
Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the true religion — Mark Twain
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. — Mark Twain
Its name is public opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God. — Mark Twain
Whatever a man’s age, he can reduce it several years by putting a bright-colored flower in his button-hole. — Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. — Mark Twain
To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. — Mark Twain